Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
