i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
