I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Come on in and take your pants off
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