just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
