So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
