It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
