we should wear snuggies to the strip club
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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