I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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