Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
what day is it and did you see me today?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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