Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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