after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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