honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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