it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
