Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
