so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
