He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
