it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
