Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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