i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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