Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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