I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Randomize
