Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
