I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
