White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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