i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize