I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
