i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
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