Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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