Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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