The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
