guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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