good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
