Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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