Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
