Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
