Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
