Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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