Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
