I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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