Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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