there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
