he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
