Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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