Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
