fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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