On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Even my vagina gasped.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
