I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
