I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so let's talk penis.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
