My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
