I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
