Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize