hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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