I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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