Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Congratulations! We have a period
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
