id be glad to
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
