I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
