Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
