I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
