So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
