Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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