thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize