Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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