either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
